I am feeling generous so there shall be a LOT of pictures.

There are so many people in the world. And just as many jobs. Abacus and invoices for those who go for the accounting job, shovel for a (grave)digging job, lubricant for a hand-job and a needle with some imagination for an ink job.
Tattoos have made their way out of the prisons and metal bands, now they walk among us - on the biceps of your drinking buddy, ankle of your mistress and probably your daughter´s ass. Tattoos are no longer something that could be related to a criminal past or rebellion against the world that praises fair and undecorated body. Our skin is a canvas and apparently a lot of people think that permanent art is the best kind.

So they get a tattoo.
Some come up with a meaning, prior to the ink-job or afterwards to justify the deed. Some just think it looks pretty or cool. Some do it out of sheer stupidity and it becomes a stain of regret, reminding of that one time you got hammered too close to the tattoo-parlor or a friend ‘just happened to have’ a needle and some ink with him.
Some think love lasts forever and get their partner´s name on their arm. Partner leaves, ink remains. Soon there will be a huge nasty-ass picture to cover up the Ilovejoe-shenanigan.

Anyway, aside the fact that you might just like the feel of a needle poking your skin or try to win the BodyArt Festival, let us picture an average person. Who at some point thinks that there, indeed, should be a drawing on his or her body. And a Magic Marker just does not cut it this time.
Questions arise:
If? What? Where?

‘If’ is simple. If you are already thinking about it, you will sooner or later do it, rest assured.
‘What’ is tricky. Unless you have a symbol very dear or important to you, you need to think hard. It might seem funny for the first year but imagine yourself being a decent mom or dad one day and your kid asks one day:’What the fuck were you thinking?’

Then there is always the chance that you may think you would like having this or that on your wrist but as time goes by you grow weary of the symbol. This is why it is always wise to get a tattoo somewhere where you cannot see it all the time (back, calves, neck) instead of having the possibly lame image smirk in your face every time you glance in the mirror. I am not talking about a tattoo of a cartoon character or something silly - even the most beautiful rose can become obnoxious in time.
So, you cannot think of a symbol. How about a word? A phrase?
Kanjis (Chinese characters used in Japanese) seem to be popular. But if you do not know Japanese or Chinese, why get something written in it anyway? You would not tattoo ‘love’ in Cyrillic just for kicks, so why should you use those languages?!

Seriously, if you get something written, make it meaningful. Not a name, not lyrics of your favorite song (unless you wrote it yourself or it was written to you), not something in another language that you are not fluent in. Tattoo artists have an obscure sense of humor and getting ‘prawn noodles’ instead of ‘life force’ is not all that fly, if you get the drift.

And even once you think it is something really deep and important to you, ask someone. I mean, seriously. Other people will probably see the tattoo too and they might have a different view of what a meaningful tattoo is all about.

‘Where’ is easy, just keep your eyes peeled for a tattoo parlor sign and step right in. Not all tattoo artists are 200kg pierced butch-looking ex-cons. The guy who did me (pun not intended) had cow-patterned boots. You cannot screw someone over with an ink-job if you have cow-boots!

So what have we learned so far?

- If you want a tattoo, get it done.
- Think hard before you do anything you might regret later. (This actually applies on life overall, not just tattoos.)
- It is good if the tattoo has a meaning but it does not have to. Just make sure it does not carry a meaning you surely did NOT have in mind though. (Extra careful be all ye kanji-inkers!)
- Try not to get wasted near a 24h tattoo parlor.
- Did I mention thinking hard? I should stress it again. Think hard!

Sometimes less is more. Sometimes DIY is fun and original.

Sometimes it is not. On tattoos, it mostly is not.

What else?!
As someone who has had a tattoo made, I should probably go over the basics again:
- No, getting a tattoo is not painful. It might be a bit uncomfortable at times (depending where you are getting it done, and by all means, I do not mean the street - I mean the body part).
- Yes, hygiene is important, so be sure the parlor and the artist are both clean and the needle used is disposable, etc.
- Yes, you have to take care of it for some time after getting it done: usually the tattoo artists tells you how. If (s)he does not, here is a brief overlook on what ‘taking care of a fresh tattoo’ means:

• Keep it dry and clean.
• Wash it gently with warm water, do not use a sponge or soap. To dry it, dab it lightly with a towel or tissue. After washing, apply cream (lightly antiseptic, no flavorers/colorants).
• Do not scratch or pick the tattoo.
• Keep away from direct sunlight (solarium included).
• For a better quality (color- and image-precision), get it re-done after two weeks, that way the tattoo artist can see how it has healed, can see the details (since while he is doing it, the skin swells and bleeds a little). Usually the re-make is included in the initial cost.

- Do not freak out if during the first days some of the ink is flaking off. It is normal. Do not pick on it though! You can gently wash the shedding and applying cream every day helps on the healing process.

An ink-job is not your average hand-job. Not even sex. Not even marriage.
An ink-job is more like a child - always there. If you want to get rid of it, the memory remains (and probably some scarring).

And we all want our children to be the best! So THINK HARD before you get one…

…

Something to laugh about (the comments are funnier than the body art)